Lick the Bowl

My husband decided to quit coffee! Well, that’s just CRAZY talk! As his caffeine enabler, I was mighty upset when he ditched the happy juice…and he did it on vacation! It wasn’t a purposeful act, mind you.   He just wasn’t in the mood for coffee in the a.m.   I, however, was giddy with anticipation that the resort we stayed in had a Starbucks in the lobby.   Holy coffee beans Batman, a Starbucks store right in the lobby! Well, that’s just genius and I gladly shelled out the $2.07 for a tall blonde cup o’ Joe.   We won’t talk about the fact that a tall cup of Starbucks only costs $1.87 back home, however, I more than made up for the difference with my collection of plastic spoons (the kids ate yogurt and oatmeal in the room) Splenda hoarding, and a few packets of honey.   I digress. The hubby didn’t feel like coffee, therefore, ever the martyr, I had to go it alone. Each morning I made the arduous journey from the 7 th floor in the elevator, through the free...

Hello, my fellow Passover sufferers.   We have exactly nine more Passover meals (not including any ancillary snacks) to go.   We are in the home stretch, the happy hump of day of Passover, almost at the end, you look in your closets, and you realize, “Wow, I sure bought a lot of matzo meal!”   Sometimes, we panic purchase, thinking we are going to bake, or cook, or create something on Passover that will be revolutionary!   Perhaps we just buy too much and wind up throwing it away or saving it for next year, hoping it won’t taste any worse than when it was fresh.   Quite frankly, I still have a sealed jar of gefilte fish in a cabinet that I am embarrassed to say was purchased when Unit #2 was still in diapers (he is seven now).   Can hermetically sealed gefilte fish even last that long? Ah, the thought probing questions of life, like, if a tree falls in a forest, can anyone hear it?   Well can they? Alas, I opened my closet and realized I too had ...

Hello to all of those who are celebrating the eight days of affliction…sorry, I mean Passover. As most of you know, Passover is my least favorite holiday because of all the food restrictions in our house.   There’s egg and nut allergies which we all know are the cornerstone of Passover cooking, not to mention that my daughter doesn’t eat meat.   Since we don’t eat rice, soy or beans on Passover, she is now pretty limited, which is why under strict supervision and visceral protocol, I allow eggs in the house.   We have learned to cope with it, though it feels a bit weird. I had all but given up on Passover baking.   There was a time where I would create huge platters of mouth watering goodies for seders, but, alas, I just didn’tknow how to do it without eggs, so I stuck to basic recipes like melting chocolate and mixing farfel and raisins into it and plopping them on a baking sheet to freeze.   They were tasty but hardly impressive. This year I found mysel...

This is an article I wrote two years ago that was published in the Baltimore Jewish Times.  Since Passover is only two days away, I figured it was a great time to post it again. Enjoy! http://www.jewishtimes.com/index.php/jewishtimes/news/jt/national_news/in_pursuit_of_the_vegan_matzo_ball/

Okay, so it’s time for my annual Spring Pre-Passover rant session.   Normally at this time, I spend a few qualitative moments discussing (okay, ranting) about Passover food prices, or the store manager’s lack of education regarding kosher for Passover fare.   I mean, really, why do people think that tea biscuits, cream soda and kichel are typical Jewish holiday essentials? Yet, I see them on the shelf in all of their NOT for kosher Passover glory.     No, I have chosen to move on from Passover, the money is spent, the items are expensive, the work is daunting, the cleaning is a pain in the tuchus, but that’s neither here nor there because today’s rant is far more important.   Today I have chosen to rag on CVS, because, well, I can. My sordid tale begins with the innocent search for a pair of panty hose. I needed a nice, very sheer pair that provided Spanx like control without having to mortgage my house.   Now, here’s the deal, while I don’t like to admi...

Here it is…the allergy free, awesome, delicious, contemporary flavored hamantshen recipe just in time for this weeks holiday of Purim. You asked for it and I delivered (albeit a little late).   I decided to go a little funky on the flavors this year. It’s not that I don’t love a good ole apricot triangular pastry, it’s just that, I wanted something a little more contemporary, new, refreshing and I instantly thought of chocolate and lemon.   They go well together, and they taste great separately, so roll up your sleeves, here we go… PS...though not pictured here, take your hamentaschen to a new level and use some melted chocolate for dipping (creating a black and white look)or drizzling over the top (creating a zebra effect).   Lemon Hamantashen ½ block silken tofu (don’t be afraid, trust me, you’ll never know) 1-cup sugar (I use organic crystals) 2 tsp good quality vanilla (not the stuff with corn syrup in it) 2-4 drops lemon extract ...

You know how life just seems to get too overwhelming?   You know how you’re supposed to take deep breaths, go for a walk, pamper yourself, or mutter encouraging mantras to get you through the drama?   You know how after you try all of those things, and you’re still feeling affected, you figure that nothing beats an eating bender?   You know how you go on a bender with all the self-loathing that goes along with it, but you know you’re going to come out of it the next day stronger and more determined not to do it again? You know how that never works and the bender lasts   four more days than you expected, followed by a huge cookie baking, tasting and consuming swan song?   Yep, I know, and don’t ask me why.   I plead the fifth. Well, not really. My stomach has concurred that it takes a lot longer to get over benders these days.   In fact, it gurgled in retaliation begging me to stop last weekend. My brain, however, devilishly coaxed me to continue my...