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Thursday, February 23, 2012

Beating the Bender

You know how life just seems to get too overwhelming?  You know how you’re supposed to take deep breaths, go for a walk, pamper yourself, or mutter encouraging mantras to get you through the drama?  You know how after you try all of those things, and you’re still feeling affected, you figure that nothing beats an eating bender?  You know how you go on a bender with all the self-loathing that goes along with it, but you know you’re going to come out of it the next day stronger and more determined not to do it again? You know how that never works and the bender lasts  four more days than you expected, followed by a huge cookie baking, tasting and consuming swan song?  Yep, I know, and don’t ask me why.  I plead the fifth. Well, not really.

My stomach has concurred that it takes a lot longer to get over benders these days.  In fact, it gurgled in retaliation begging me to stop last weekend. My brain, however, devilishly coaxed me to continue my egregious behavior. Clearly, my upper and lower half, were not in sync with each other coupled with a really anxious hormone fairy spreading insatiable cravings like angry pixie dust.  OY.
Benders are an interesting beast.  They come on suddenly, throw you off course, wreak havoc of epic proportions, and disrupt one’s clean eating balance.  The good news, however, is that they strengthen one’s clean eating resolve, restoring one’s virtuous eating habits once more, like a beautiful, sunny day following a hurricane. 

I have often wrestled with the bender.  Sometimes I win, and sometimes I don’t.  Clearly, I didn’t win this past weekend and had to deal the grim aftermath. My pants were a wee bit tight on Monday (I was still in the cookie bender phase), but today, I am feeling much better.  Workouts have resumed, water consumption is high, clean foods abound, and yes, I admit, my body is much happier.  
If you have been on a bender, don’t fret my sugar, greasy, salty, crunchy, victims... it’s okay.  Get back on the horse.  Life is all about screw-ups.  What’s done is done.  Movin’on.  Forge ahead.  Make it work.   It won’t take long to get back to where you were, because where you were, is how you get to where you want to be. 

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Pining for Peanut Butter

I miss peanut butter. I miss its creaminess and its ability to hit the spot when I didn’t know what to eat. I miss its versatility.  Melt it and throw it on noodles with some sesame seeds and you have Asian noodles. Mix into a vanilla smoothie and you have post-workout heaven.  Throw it on some whole wheat bread, or roll it in a wrap with banana and it’s a well-balanced meal.  Spread it on some celery and it’s a perfect carb/protein combo.  Spread it on a cracker (or even a graham cracker) and it’s a stellar texturized fusion of crunchy-gooey, salty- sweet.  Great for those hormonal moments when your veracious appetite is about to cross over to the dark side, but wait, salvation…ahhh, there’s the beloved peanut butter.

I miss peanut butter.   I had to remove it from the house a few years ago when my son was diagnosed with severe nut allergies.  At first, I figured I could still keep it around if I just took the proper precautions.  Then, one morning, exhausted from a lack of sleep, I accidentally switched the lunchbox sandwiches.  My daughter lives on PB&J, and I didn’t’ want to make her give it up, so, I figured I could keep it under control if I adhered to strict protocol.  I assembled her sandwich first, cleaned all the surfaces, washed my hands and used two separate knives for the jelly.  However, the lunchboxes looked similar and I accidentally reversed the sandwiches.  Luckily, my son recognized the fact that his sandwich wasn’t cut in half (I cut his but not hers so they know that it’s indeed their sandwich) and didn’t eat it.

My daughter’s eats lunch ½ hour after her brother.  When she realized my egregious error, she was convinced that he didn’t realize the mistake and frantically flew to the nurse’s office to see if he was there.  The nurse couldn’t calm her down until they brought him in to the office.  All was well, though she was a bit shaken.
I miss peanut butter, but safety tastes a lot better than peanut butter any day.