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Wednesday, September 28, 2011

This Aint Your Bubby's Apple Cake!

This aint your Bubby's Apple Cake!

I was featured in Washington Post Food Blog today for an allergy free apple cake for Rosh Hashanah.

Have a wonderful New Year everyone.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Age 44 is The New 80?

It’s official; I am the poster child for Oral B hygiene.  We now have a new gadget to add to our already expanding line of oral hygiene care.  It seems both my husband and I have too much bacteria festering in our mouths, but for opposite reasons.  I am overly aggressive in my dental care, and he isn’t aggressive enough.  I told him that I could put up with many things that go along with aging, but teeth in a glass…deal breaker.

 The dentist insists on a water pik twice a day, electric toothbrush, and flossing as well. This adds quite a bit of time to my already compressed morning routine. I am exhausted just thinking about it.  My husband who travels on a regular basis can’t lug all that equipment with him… but guess what? Now, for a mere $90 they make an all in one gizmo that flosses, piks and brushes in one little compact electronic wand.  Yipee!

Whatever happened to the good ole days of just brushing my teeth?  When did oral care become this complicated? Well, it seems the older we get, our teeth need more help.  Oh, and I just got fitted for a new mouth guard because the last one looked like a doggie chew toy.  That’s right, due to all the teeth clenching I do (by the way, I never did this before kids) I whittled my expensive $1000 mouth guard down to a nubby stub.  Seriously.

As long as I am on the “oh my god I am getting older bandwagon,” let’s talk about what the doctor added onto my regimen.  I now have to take a cocktail of vitamins, including Vitamin D, multi, and yes, an all-natural phyto sterol to combat my genetically induced cholesterol.  Apparently, this is a last ditch effort before he puts me on real meds.  UGH!  I am seriously having trouble getting it all down, so I have to take the stuff in shifts, which I often forget to do.  So, I started putting all the pills in a small dosage cup and leaving it on the kitchen sink as a lame reminder…but I still forget. 

While in CVS, I asked if they carried pillboxes.  PILL BOXES???? I actually asked for PILL BOXES?  Wow, it sounded just as bad coming out of my mouth as it did in my head.  What am I …80?  I listen to Ceelo and Ke$ha, I watch Glee and secretly enjoy One Tree Hill!  You can’t do these things and use a pillbox! It’s just wrong I tell you.

The store clerk was more than happy to discuss the different types of pillboxes…there’s a box for everyday of the week, clear,colored, floral, funky, metal, plastic, eco-friendly, square, round, rectangular, compartmentalized, flat, tall, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  How is it that CVS carries a plethora of pillboxes, but they stopped carrying construction paper for my kid’s art projects?  Hmmmmm.

In the end, I nixed the pillbox idea. I’m on to more pressing issues now, like the fact I that I was recently sucked into a MURAD skin product informercial.  The irony here is, that when the bill comes for my elixir in a bottle “to combat the effects of hormonal aging,” I’ll have to take my glasses off to read it.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Top Ten List of Travel Affirmations

This past weekend, I attended my niece’s bat mitzvah.  Now, I could get maudlin and weepy, (which I’m known to do) and I could pontificate on the bittersweet subject of children growing up and time passing as the song Memories plays in my head. I could obsess over the fact that we all have a few more lines on our faces, or grays on our heads, or muse over the palpable absence of loved ones, the aunts and uncles whom we elevated to immortal status , and yet eventually succumbed to the same fate as everyone else. 

I could elaborate on the fact that this momentous and special occasion fell on the same terrible weekend as 9/11 and that my heart was painfully contorted into a mangled, labyrinth of emotion.  It reminded me of the time I attended a funeral while I was six months pregnant.  As I watched the burial at the cemetery, I could simultaneously feel tiny life affirming flutter kicks deep within, reminding me of life’s cyclical and seemingly unjust balance. 

Yes, I could truly focus on the philosophy of life as life cycle occasions usually force us to take stock of our lives and all we hold dear.  I could sit here and cry over the passing of time (with or without chocolate), or lament the things I haven’t achieved.   However, since, I woke my kids up on Sunday at 3:30 a.m. after they fell asleep at 1:30 a.m., to catch a 5:45 a.m. flight, my mind is still a bit short circuited from lack of sleep.  Therefore, I can only concentrate on the non-philosophical for now, because when you are overwhelmed by emotion, and sleep deprived at the same time, it’s easier to cope by focusing on the mundane.  So, here is my lame attempt.
Top Ten List of Travel Affirmations

1.       Glaring overhead lighting in airport bathrooms is not a good look for any bedraggled traveler.

2.       Not loving the full length mirrors in hotels either.

3.       The fact that my daughter takes 10-second showers in a hotel and turns out all the lights but takes 10-hour showers at home and lets the electricity burn is curious to me.

4.       Wal-Mart looks the same in every state.

5.       Driving a rented Buick Crown Victoria was not good for my image.

6.       Watching 9/11 footage waiting for my plane did not bode well for my nerves.

7.       Regional propeller planes do not bode well for my nerves either.

8.       When the pilot says to a passenger, “Dude, I didn’t know you were on this flight,” one pauses for thought at who’s flying the plane.

9.       When the pilot is not that much older than your two children’s ages combined….not good.

10.   My kids LOOOOVVVVEEEE serious turbulence…guess I don’t have to take them Disney.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Clean Towels Really Shouldn’t Be a Passion

I realize that I haven’t written much lately, and maybe that’s because I just haven’t felt passionate about much over the past few days.  Sure, school started, along with all of the crazy that accompanies those first few days, but I managed to get through it without too many tantrums (by me, that is).  Life has fallen into a new routine, which is really the old routine –the sequel.   Slowly, I have come to accept that I have crossed summer’s finish line,  and entered the Fall zone without too much kicking or screaming (again…we’re talking about me).

The irony is that I had all these visions of organizing, cleaning, purging, and re-decorating various rooms and/or closets in the house over the long, lazy summer.  Yet, I found myself in the express lane doing two months of work over the last three days as I scrambled to re-invent my daughter’s bedroom from “stupid” princess motif to funky a la college dorm.  Three garbage bags later filled with blinky things, old papers, doo dads, and other  random items along with three bags of clothing donation including some 6x T-shirts  (she’s a size 10-12 now)that were somehow lost in the black hole of her dresser drawer.  Throw in a new comforter set, a bean bag chair and some funky throw rugs (actually really cute bath mats), a poster, move some furniture around and voila…a new room without having to re-paint her high gloss pale pink walls that she despises so much.  Phew…

Once I had the purging bug, I was unstoppable.  When the two body-bag size duffel bags full of rank camp laundry crowded any available real estate on the basement floor, (due to the the pre-existing mountain sized laundry pile), I decided to take action.  Yes, I swore I would do it over the summer, but life gets in the way know, and somehow I got distracted.  There were other important tasks that required my immediate attention such as, mooning over my daughter’s absence, writing letters, and shamelessly terrorizing the mail carrier like a provoked pit-bull. I am happy to say, that 90 % of that task has been completed, as only a few assorted items still lay strewn on the floor.  The duffel bags have been mercifully stored away, and we finally have clean towels again.  I love looking at them all stacked and color coordinated in the hall closet.  I feel a monumental sense of accomplishment because nothing makes me happier than a well-stocked linen closet.

Huh, it seems like my passion has become clean towels…probably a stellar time for me to find a hobby.