Lick the Bowl

Wow!   I have been sick.   Sick as a dog sick.   Sick, as I never want to be sick again for sickness sake sick.   It all started out innocent enough.   A cold. A tickle. An annoying drip.   Who knew what a drip could do?   Well, if a drip of water over millions of years could produce the world’s most humongous stalactites, I guess a drip in my throat for a month could build up just as well.   So, perhaps there is a stalactite in my chest. Sure felt like one.   A crushing, pressing, invasive, stalactite.     As I helped my son with his inhaler (because he was sick too) I’m having visions of taking a hit off of it, like a drug addict looking for a fix.   You know, there is something inherently wrong if you are fantasizing about suckin’ off your kids inhaler.   Bad mommy.   Desperate mommy.   Breathing is not overrated.   I needed help. Off to the doctor, who by the way was impressed with the fact that I h...

I’ve been feeling a bit more reflective these past few days following Yom Kippur (the grand daddy holiday of contemplation), and truth be told, it wasn't really Yom Kippur per se.  No, it seems the source of my reverie emanated from my...laundry.         First, I need to back up.   I mean dirty laundry doesn’t usually yield itself to introspection, unless introspection includes cursing the wet laundry left in the dryer overnight because you forgot to turn it on.   No, my contemplative musings actually began with my son’s two recently missing front teeth.   My girlfriend hadn’t seen us in a while, and clearly the gaping hole in his mouth warranted her attention, to my six year old’s delight. After their exchange which included questions about the elusive tooth fairy (who by the way was in default on payment because she didn’t have any cash, requiring money from her 10 year old’s piggy bank the first time.   The second time, t...

The differences between Rosh Hashanah (Jewish New Year) and the secular New Year celebrations are very distinct.   RH (Rosh Hashanah) isn’t televised all over the world in a live celebration including rap stars, singers, or Ryan Seacrest.   People don’t wait in line for 24 hours in the freezing cold to watch a ball drop, ticker tape is a big no-no in a synagogue, and champagne is not the drink du jour.   However, the similarities are interesting to note.   While we aren’t standing outside surrounded by thousands wearing ridiculous hats or oversized glitter glasses, we are stuffed inside the synagogue with a large group of people wearing assorted colored and textured yarmulkes, prayer shawls and holiday attire.   Merry plastic noisemakers are replaced with the ultimate noisemaker-the shofar, and at the end of the service, we ultimately wish each other Happy New Year. Perhaps, the biggest similarity between these two celebrations is the…resolution.   One ...